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  • Cathey Hayes

Here Comes The Bridesmaid (Or Groomslady)

Updated: Jan 19



Your circle. The ones that have been there for the big moments and the tough ones. How do you decide which ones will stand by your side at your wedding as bridesmaids?


With today’s popular ‘intimate’ and ‘boho’ style weddings, the selection process is greatly simplified because traditional rules are generally tossed out of the window, along with the stress. Yes, you can breathe now.


With a smaller wedding, the focus is on the couple and that moment when they exchange vows. Keep it simple. Maybe you have two people to hand each of you a ring or one person to be in charge of both rings. A child(ren) to hold the bouquet as you exchange rings.


If you are worried about your besties feeling left out, let them know you are breaking with tradition, but are counting on their support on the big day. Who will greet and direct guests? Who will ‘work’ the crowd to make sure everyone is happy? Who will offer toasts? These special ‘helpers’ can wear similar dresses for a bridesmaid vibe, if this tradition is important to your circle.


And, of course, you will depend on your tribe for help in the planning process.

Equal number of men and women in the bridal party? Throw out the rule. To simplify the selection, focus on:


  • Family. A brother or sister can be a bridesman or groomslady.

  • Friends. The one who has always been there for you. Too many to be at the altar? Give them ‘star’ seating in the audience.

  • Budget. Think about your friend’s budget as well as your own. Are you creating unnecessary strain?


At the heart of it all, this day is about two people starting a life together with vows to weather storms and calm together. Everyone else is there to watch and celebrate.

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